Lucullan: adj, (esp. of banquets, parties, etc.) marked by lavishness and richness; sumptuous.
Welcome, good sir to the House of Licinius Luccullus. It’s not for nothing that feasts these days are described as Lucullan, or not. Would you like to see what is meant by that? Come, I will show you. And here, have some bread. You may choose a wine from any continent in the empire, as well.
In that dish there we have caviar, brought in by the general’s own fisherman. Delicious and fresh and I assure you. Beside that is the honeyed formice, fattened conger eels, camel’s foot and more. Giraffe and Flamingo will be brought out later.
And this, this is not to be missed. Lemons, apples, plums, pears, quinces, grapes, apricots, peaches, pomegranates, and cherries. Beside the artichokes and carrots are bowls of almonds, pistachios, and walnuts.
You are perhaps thinking this is too mundane for the great Luccullus and his feasts of renown? Yes. It is true. This is a very middling feast so far. He would perhaps serve this if a lesser diplomat of little repute and unpleasant demeanor was visiting, but today is quite special. I assure you the cranes, grouse, ducks, geese, and, the general’s favorite peacock, are all being cooked as we speak.
The general also greatly enjoys fish. They are being caught. The general demands his fish be as fresh as possible. The boats are likely arriving as we speak.
No, there are no other guests arriving. It is most unfortunate that you are not here during an actual feast. Today you will not be offered anything. It is true this is likely the finest feast you have ever seen. Pssht, likely. It is for my master, Luccullus has made it so. This is the finest of even his own fine feasts, but tonight he dines alone. Tonight Luccullus is to host Luccullus.
