Archive for December, 2009


Dracula

on December 29, 2009 in Movies, Reviews 1 Comment »

I watched the 1992 version of Dracula.  Not going to lie, I’m disappointed.

I should have known better.  Vampires have gotten worse year by year since the damn book was written.  I’ve never seen Nosferatu, but it was supposedly fair.  The Bela Legosi version is the classic that ‘created’ the vampire, and since then a few dozen movies, mostly of terrible quality, have solidified the quintessential, archetypal, infinitely cliche vampire.

Anne Rice ran with the idea and made a twisted cross between Bram Stoker, Lovecraft, and cheap fantasy.  Still, she probably created the best vampire beyond Stoker himself.Since then, vampires have apparently become impotent effeminate soap opera wood.  It’s a terrible fate for a creature, a character, that feels like it should have a much more profound life.

It was my fervent hope that Francis Ford Coppola’s version of the Dracula legend would get it right.  Maybe it’s dated, maybe it just didn’t click.  One way another I finished the movie feeling that it was hit everything at a 45 degree angle.  It had so many things right and so many things unforgivably botched.

Easy criticism: Keenu Reeves should never act.  East Response: Gary Oldman should have a part in everything.

Beyond the casting and the now-hokey visuals, my criticism is really with the plot.  It started off brilliantly.  Vlad went to the crusades to defend the church and came home to a dead wife, dead and damned from suicide.  I think there was room to explore the back story more, but the initial scene is probably the best in the whole movie.  Seeing the Vlad storm out of a bloody alter captures the quintessential curse of the vampires.

From there the plot can’t decide what it wants to follow.  It bounces from a burlesque horror in Transylvania, a comedy of manners in England, an adventure film, and a goofy action flick without really concentrating on any one of them.  Why did Dracula go to England?  The reason was to find Mina, his wife reborn.  That is clarified later, but given that’s the main inspiration for all the plot that  follows, it seems that angle needed to be emphasized instead of an obscure (and itself poorly narrated) real estate deal in England, that obviously preceded the film, as concerned by Renfield’s subplot.  Why did he need land in England if he didn’t know about Mina yet?  Who knows?

Renfeld was excellent, both visually and in direction.  They might have said why exactly he became the vampire’s servant, or explained why his struggle only seemed to start in the last thirty minutes, but he emphasized better than any other character (Helsing included) the power of the vampire.

The scenes with Lucy are also powerful.  They suffer from age and a certain lack of subtlety, but the Victorian eroticism is played with nicely.  England was a good mixture of modern and stately, seedy and mysterious.  It is a suitable haunt for the vampire once he arrives, but then he ruins it by jumping through nonsense montages.

What I’m really getting at is that the quintessence of Dracula was never really touched upon.  The first half of the film focused on a rare sense of eroticism that was never explained or explored.  Did Lucy fall for Dracula due to her promiscuity?  Presumably, but if that’s true than you can’t blame it on a dream later.  If her actions are responsible for her date than she must make her choices unhindered and with full cognizance.  The book managed this, but the film botched it.

The second half of the film spends too much time letting Anthony Hopkins chew the screen as Van Helsing.  Van Helsing is an awkward character either way.  He is an expert on Dracula and too many shades a double of Sherlock Holmes.  If Dracula is truly this absolute horror than having Van Helsing as a fearless knight ruins the whole creation.  Van Helsing, at best, can be a knowledgeable book expert who is faced with something far beyond his capability.  That scenario preserves the vampire’s mortal horror and gives the quest an emotional tension that cannot be grasped otherwise.

In reality, the real exploration needs to be of the vampire himself.  Many films have concentrated on vampires who must have flesh, but are equally repulsed by what they have become.  That is one angle, but I prefer the vampire who either wishes to freely grant his gift to those who would have it, a seductive vampire who has no need of force or especial guile.  Alternatively, the damned vampire is adequate, though harder, I would think, to capture.  The damned vampire is one who has come to his fate through crimes that could not be punished through death alone.  This is Satan as a vampire, a creature who suffers for their own pride.  This is the vampire that may be destroyed by love, ala Nosferatu.  The seductive vampire’s destruction is really only satisfactory through starvation.  If his victims can be convinced his gift is not worth having than the vampire has been rendered dust.

That is my mind on the matter.  The imagery was so great and Dracula, the film, tried to hit so many elements, but I found it lacking through and through.  With such a powerful character and such a vibrant story, I genuinely hope this recent fad of androgynous boy-thing vampires goes away.  It is a sad fate for the children of the night. What sweet music they might make…

How do I know our media is borderline useless?  This. Original article and link here.

Sure the government would prefer to use the U-3 rate, but why does media choose to report it?  The U-6 rate is the actual number of people unemployed and underemployed, which is the only number that actually matters.  Some contrived formula for determining who ‘counts’ might make for a nicer number, but it’s useless as far as policy or good administration is concerned.

Christmas Eve: Moon

Day After Christmas: District 9.

District 9 is another science fiction movie that I let fall off the radar. On at least three separate occasions I almost might have seen it. After striking out, I let it fall by the wayside.

It’s a gruesome bit of work, but probably the most intelligent ‘alien’ film to come…ever? It’s certainly a far cry from Independence Day, Men in Black (the first was actually somewhat clever), or the wretched Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds.

District 9 is a ‘documentary film’. It follows Wikus van de Merwe, a low-level beurocrat responsible for moving a prison camp of aliens, called prawns, from one district to another. Twenty years prior the alien invaders landed above Johannesburg, South Africa. They were removed from their floating spacecraft and placed in camps, which have become crime-filled and unruly.

District 9 is as much a criticism of privatization and apartheid as it is an ‘alien’ film. It is an immensely difficult film to watch, but for all the right reasons. Wikus van de Merwe has his life thrown to pieces over the course of a short, but frenziedly two hours. It is bloody and gruesome, but its one of the few films where I think that gore is actually necessary. It makes Wikus’ trials all the more powerful and the conclusion that much more relevant.

Again, I want to avoid giving away too much, but it’s not an invasion film, it’s not gun-porn, it’s not a touchy-feely allegory, or an action film. It is a film with aliens, but it is not a film about aliens. The closest approximation would be a film about humans might treat aliens, or really how we treat anyone, ourselves included.

For being a fairly low budget affair, the imagery is phenomenal. The spaceship…looks like a spaceship. The aliens are slightly, ever so slightly, cartoonish, but only a little bit. The characters beyond Wikus don’t have much screen time and they’re all basically heartless bastards, but anything more complex in the way of villainy would have required a novel, not a film.

It’s a film supposedly awaiting a sequel, but it I’m not sure it’s necessary. It’s poignant and startling, similar to Moon in that regard, and another title on my list of Science Fiction movies that aren’t trash.

Moon

on December 24, 2009 in Movies, Reviews 1 Comment »

When did science fiction movies get to be good? Between a Star Trek movie that might as well have been an action thriller, a wave of shoddy, childish Star Wars films, and the assorted dystopian joke-film (read Matrix 2 and 3), I’ve always felt that Science Fiction and Film were too dangerous to mix. Older movies like Logan’s Run were almost good, but either dated themselves very quickly or were just silly to begin with.

Moon, directed by Duncan Jones (David Bowie’s son), is excellent. It’s not kind of good. It’s really good. Good length (hour and a half), good acting, gorgeous, engaging, thought-provoking. Slowly paced, but never boring. Very subtle at times, never too heavy-handed. It’s probably the best film I’ve seen this year.

Sam Rockwell (I know him as Zaphod from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) plays Sam Bell, a solitary technician on a Helium 3 mining station on the Moon. His three year mission is to maintain the station and then go home to his wife and kid. He’s joined by a robot (voiced by Kevin Spacey I think) who helps out with chores around the station.

The film’s beauty comes from the moon and the station itself. Sleek, futuristic decorations correspond nicely against the sheer, lifelessness of the Lunar surface. The rocks between tossed up by the helium miners is just perfect.

I won’t give the story away but Sam Bell gets twice the screen time of most lead characters. *Wink *Wink. The ending is both happy, sad, and intelligent, perhaps the rarest thing of all, science fiction movie, or otherwise. Sadly, Moon was a limited release, but it’s on DVD now. Pick it up.

Happy Tuesday: it’s a map of cheese…in England.

I kind of want some Isle of Wight Blue.

 

  1. Abulia: n: a symptom of mental disorder involving impairment or loss of volition.
  2. Absquatulate: v: Slang. to flee; abscond
  3. Aestival: adj: Of, relating to, or appearing in summer.
  4. Afflatus: n: inspiration; an impelling mental force acting from within.
  5. Affray: n: a public fight; a noisy quarrel; brawl.
  6. Amative: adj: disposed to love; amorous
  7. Ambisinister: adj: clumsy or unskillful with both hands.
  8. Anodyne: n: anything that relieves distress or pain:
  9. Argal: conjunction, adv Literary. therefore: used facetiously to indicate that the reasoning that had gone before or the conclusion that follows is specious or absurd
  10. Atrabilious: adj: gloomy; morose; melancholy; morbid
  11. Bagatelle: n: something of little value or importance; a trifle
  12. Bedizen: V: to dress or adorn in a showy, gaudy, or tasteless manner.
  13. Bescumber: v.t: To discharge ordure or dung upon
  14. Bespoke: adj: (of clothes) made to individual order; custom-made:
  15. Bibulous: adj:     fond of or addicted to drink
  16. Bruit: v: to voice abroad; rumor (used chiefly in the passive and often fol. by about):
  17. Cadastre: n: A public record, survey, or map of the value, extent, and ownership of land as a basis of taxation
  18. Caitiff: n: a base, despicable person
  19. Callipygian: adj: having well-shaped buttocks
  20. Calumny: pl. n: a false and malicious statement designed to injure the reputation of someone or something:
  21. Caterwaul: v: to utter long wailing cries, as cats in rutting time
  22. Cavil: v: to oppose by inconsequential, frivolous, or sham objections
  23. Cenotaph: n: a sepulchral monument erected in memory of a deceased person whose body is buried elsewhere.
  24. Clochard: n: a beggar; vagrant; tramp
  25. Comity: n: a state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect, esp. between or among nations or people; civility
  26. Contumacious: adj: stubbornly perverse or rebellious; willfully and obstinately disobedient
  27. Deracinate: v: to isolate or alienate (a person) from a native or customary culture or environment
  28. Dextral: adj: of, pertaining to, or on the right side; right
  29. Dilatory: adj:      tending to delay or procrastinate; slow; tardy
  30. Dishabille: n: the state of being dressed in a careless, disheveled, or disorderly style or manner; undress
  31. Epeolatry: n: The worship of words.
  32. Epigone: n: an undistinguished imitator, follower, or successor of an important writer, painter
  33. Ersatz: adj: substitute, artificial and often inferior; using substitute components
  34. Espalier: n: a trellis or framework on which the trunk and branches of fruit trees or shrubs are trained to grow in one plane
  35. Excrescence: n: an abnormal outgrowth, usually harmless, on an animal or vegetable body
  36. Factitious: adj: Produced artificially rather than by a natural process.
  37. Fainéant: adj: lazy, idle
  38. Flummadiddle: n: nonesense
  39. Friable: adj: easily crumbled or reduced to powder; crumbly
  40. Gamine: n: a diminutive or very slender girl, esp. one who is pert, impudent, or playfully mischievous
  41. Gelid: adj: very cold; icy
  42. Gestalt: n. pl: an instance or example of such a unified whole.
  43. Gimcrack: n: a showy, useless trifle; gewgaw
  44. Gloaming: n: twilight; dusk
  45. Gnomic: adj: expressing what is generally or universally true
  46. Guerdon: n: a reward, recompense, or requital.
  47. Hirsute: adj: hairy
  48. Hypergelasts: n: someone who laughs excessively
  49. Imprimatur: n: official sanction or approval; support:
  50. Inchoate: adj: not yet completed or fully developed; rudimentary
  51. Inculcate: v: to implant by repeated statement or admonition; teach persistently and earnestly
  52. Ineluctable: adj: incapable of being evaded; inescapable
  53. Insouciant: adj: free from concern, worry, or anxiety; carefree; nonchalant
  54. Inveigle: v: to entice, lure, or ensnare by flattery or artful talk or inducements
  55. Importunate: adj: urgent or persistent in solicitation, sometimes annoyingly so
  56. Lachrymose: adj: suggestive of or tending to cause tears; mournful
  57. Lissom: adj: lithesome or lithe, esp. of body; supple; flexible
  58. Lucullan: adj: (esp. of banquets, parties, etc.) marked by lavishness and richness; sumptuous
  59. Louche: adj: dubious; shady; disreputable
  60. Malinger: v: to pretend illness, esp. in order to shirk one’s duty, avoid work, etc.
  61. Magniloquent: adj: speaking or expressed in a lofty or grandiose style; pompous; bombastic; boastfu
  62. Manichean: n: a believer in religious or philosophical dualism
  63. Maquillage: n: Cosmetic or theatrical makeup
  64. Maugre: preposition: in spite of; notwithstanding
  65. Mawkish: adj: characterized by sickly sentimentality; weakly emotional; maudlin
  66. Mendacious: adj: telling lies, esp. habitually; dishonest; lying; untruthful
  67. Merkin: n: false hair for the female pudenda
  68. Miasma: n.pl: a dangerous, foreboding, or deathlike influence or atmosphere
  69. Misoneism: n: hatred or dislike of what is new or represents change.
  70. Monadnock: n: A mountain or rocky mass that has resisted erosion and stands isolated in an essentially level area.  Also called an inselberg
  71. Nostrum: n: a medicine sold with false or exaggerated claims and with no demonstrable value; quack medicine.
  72. Objurgate: v: to express strong disapproval; to criticize severely
  73. obsequy: n: a funeral rite or ceremony.
  74. Pellucid: adj: allowing the maximum passage of light, as glass; translucent
  75. Perdurable: adj: very durable; permanent; imperishable
  76. Purlieu: n: an outlying district or region, as of a town or city
  77. Persiflage: n: light, bantering talk or writing
  78. Perspicacity: n: keenness of mental perception and understanding; discernment; penetration.
  79. Pestiferous: adj: Producing or breeding infectious disease.
  80. Probity: n: integrity and uprightness; honesty.
  81. Prolix: adj: Tediously wordy
  82. Quietus: n. pl: a finishing stroke; anything that effectually ends or settles
  83. Recherche: adj: very rare, exotic, or choice; arcane; obscure
  84. Repine: v: to be fretfully discontented; fret; complain
  85. Rodomontade: n: vainglorious boasting or bragging; pretentious, blustering talk
  86. Roister: v: to act in a swaggering, boisterous, or uproarious manne
  87. Rollick: v: To move or act in a playful, carefree manner.
  88. Ruminate: v: to chew the cud, as a ruminant
  89. Sempiternal: adj: everlasting; eternal
  90. Sinistral: adj: of, pertaining to, or on the left side; left
  91. Skeuomorph: n: an ornament or design on an object copied from a form of the object when made from another material or by other techniques, as an imitation metal rivet mark found on handles of prehistoric pottery
  92. Stentorian: adj: very loud or powerful in sound
  93. subfusc: adj: dark and dull; dingy; drab:
  94. Tarradiddle: n: A petty falsehood; a fib
  95. Temerarious: adj: reckless; rash
  96. Tocsin: n: a signal, esp. of alarm, sounded on a bell or bells
  97. Topiary: adj: (of a plant) clipped or trimmed into fantastic shapes.
  98. Univocalic: n: A piece of writing that uses only one of the vowels.
  99. Vexillology: n: the study of flags
  100. Virago: n.pl: a loud-voiced, ill-tempered, scolding woman; shrew

I finally got around to watching The Queen. It follows the Royal Family and newly elected Prime Minister Tony Blair as they deal with the after math of Princess Diana’s death.

The Queen’s reluctance to engage the media was apparently a rather large story in England. Over here, I don’t recall it being much of a story. It’s an interesting drama though.

The royalty, with a thousand years of precedent and tradition, isn’t often forced to deal with a new phenomenon. The benefit of having royalty is that it puts some institution beyond politics. A president may ‘lie!’ and a Prime Minister may have to defend himself during PMQs, but the Queen is above it all. It’s idealistic and abstract, but I can see why England keeps it.

How then, should royalty respond when one of their former members dies tragically. If Lady Diana had been hated than it would have slipped by quietly, but she was quiet beloved. Her death then becomes an issue of state. The royalty is bound to honor it in some manner simply because the nation grieves as well and they must join.

The acting if phenomenal and they all pretty much look like their counterparts. The scenery is also excellent. Balmoral Castle, the royal vacation estate, is suitably gorgeous for the Royal Family.

All in all, a most fascinating film telling a story that just never drifted my way previously.  Worth picking up or renting!

How many months ago did Watchmen come out?

Don’t know. Here’s Alan Moore reading Rorschach’s journal.

You don’t hear author’s reading their works all that often. Occasionally at readings, occasionally audiobooks. Conferences will have parts of that.

As for Comic Book writers, hmm? Has Frank Miller ever read Batman outloud?

Enjoy the weekend!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924722

Greatness

Why even bother trying to come up with fictional settings?  Really.  It’s a complete waste of time.  For every space station or foreboding castle I could come up with, there’s already some real place that’s twice as cool.

Now if only they took on renters.